Finding Out

They say a mom always knows when something is wrong with her child. I know now that before Anton turned 1 1/2 years old, everything about him was normal. But when he turned two, I became scared that Anton was not talking as much as other two year-olds. Everyone said it was "normal," though, since boys usually talk later than girls. My husband, Allen, said that he was a late talker too and my older daughter Abby took to talking rather slowly as well.

So when Anton started going to school at 2 years, 8 months and the teacher said that "he doesn't establish eye contact, no?" and, "i think receptive language is good but expressive is weak," I felt, "so what's new? He'll be fine!"


Anton, 2 years 2 months, and Mama

Three months passed and he was not fine. He seemed to be stuck in the developmental stage of a 1 1/2 year-old child. During our first PTC, teacher said, "his tantrums are really bad, maybe you want to consider going to a developmental pediatrician." So even if I wanted to believe that Anton was "normal," I did.

During the "dev. ped's" initial assessment, Anton was fidgety and uncooperative. He kept grabbing toys, whining, screaming. He did not finish the assessment because he had already fallen into a full-blown tantrum. Since it was a two-hour assessment at 2pm (naptime), and since we were in the waiting room for an hour and a half, I felt that his behavior was justified. After all, these things were expected during the terrible twos, right?

When the dev. ped. began discussing the results of the evaluation, I knew that she wasn't about to give me good news but what she said was way beyond what I feared. AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDER (ASD)... ha? what's that? how? curable? She said that in the US, 1 in 150 children have ASD. Having read so much about ADHD while living in the States and knowing that it was quite a serious condition, I remember asking her, "is this worse than ADHD?" Her answer? "Yes. ADHD can be treated but ASD is lifetime."

Results of Evaluation (chronological age 2 years, 9 months):
Gross motor - 1 year 10 months
Personal Social - 1 year, 1 month
Hearing and Speech - 1 year, 6 months
Fine Motor - 1 year, 11 months
Nonverbal - 1 year, 9 months


I cried all the way home. I texted my husband (who was in the US), my mom, and my Ate. I cried that night, and I cried for almost 3 months after that. Sometimes I still cry. Often I feel helpless.

The morning after I found out, I was at Fully Booked waiting for the store to open. I searched for the "Autism" section worried they would not have it. But I guess the doctor was right, it was more common than I thought- 3 whole rows on ASD. Before that day i had never bought anything at Fully Booked because items were so expensive. I went home that day with P 3,000 worth of books on ASD.


The first 3 (of many more) books on ASD that I bought. Application of techniques learned from the rightmost book, "What You Can Do Right Now..." immediately brought improvements in Anton.

I cried while I read. But I learned more. I also started to hope. There was no cure, but there is hope for the better. Within the day I had learned so many strategies to use on Anton. I applied them during the following days and within a week I saw an improvement. He was starting to come back to my world. He was slowly becoming the child I thought I had lost to this disorder.

I mourned a long time (like all moms with ASD kids do) but I decided to work with Anton while doing so. Thanks to the diagnosis I knew what was needed to make him better. If the doctor did not confirm my fears, I would still be thinking that all is well with Anton, and then realize in the future (when 6 year old Anton is still in diapers) that I should have followed my instinct.

Thank God for a mother's instinct. Thank God for my faith in a better future. Thank God for the wonderful blessing that is Anton. You WILL be better.