Ton almost didn't make it to this appointment. We missed his original one (I forget things, okay? :) ) and only got in yesterday because I begged and showered the doctor's receptionist with sweetness. We eventually got an appointment but for 4pm, which was really not a good time for Ton. To top it off, that 4pm was further pushed to 5pm due to delays. He had become anxious in the waiting hall.
 |
| anxiously waiting for one hour at the waiting area |
Ton had also been regressing slightly since Tuesday. On Monday, we started a new round of anti-fungals (more on this in a later post) and so he was less focused and more stubborn of late.
And so, despite the bad timing, despite the bad effects of his medication, we went to see Dr. Reyes. He did not do too well during the battery of verbal tests, answering "because...(then silence)" to many questions but he excelled in table top work (not a surprise, he always has). The biggest surprise to the doctor, though, was that he was able to sit down, wait patiently, follow commands and most importantly- self-regulate. In Dr. Reyes' words, "okay na 'to, kayang-kaya na regular school (he'll be okay, he will survive in a regular school)."
 |
| going to his classroom in a regular school with his little sister, Tessa |
There have been many breakthroughs in Ton's journey but this one is long overdue. We have not heard this much good news from THE Dr. Reyes in the longest time.
On my drive home from Makati Med, I sat silently in the car thinking, "how did we get here? What were the good things we did? What worked? What didn't?"
How did we get here? Tough choices! We deprived Ton of food he loved- cake, cookies, pizza, chocolate, processed food and juices. We were firm in saying, "no," even as we watched him shout, scream, hit us, flail his body on the floor (monster moments, I call them). I turned around and cried when I saw him at his worst and prayed that he would crash down to calmness soon. We broke up with many therapists when we felt that they weren't working well with him. Most of all, we kept trying new things and we kept working hard.
So far, we've "broken up" with 4 occupational therapists, 3 speech therapists and 1 special education tutor. We've abandoned a preschool 2 days before the start of classes because they "boxed in" Ton with the lower functioning children. We've gone to and left 3 therapy centers in a span of 4 years. We've consulted with a Defeat Autism Now (DAN) doctor once then never returned. Ton was diagnosed by another dev. ped. but we moved to (more like begged for a slot with) Dr. Reyes after 1 year. These are things we are not proud of but they were tough choices we needed to do because had to keep trying.
In a few weeks, we will try something new again- methylated B-12 shots, lauded by many ASD parents as a "miracle cure." I will have to inject a tiny needle in his butt cheek a few nights a week. How will I muster the nerve to hurt my son intentionally? Beats me. All I know is that this is worth a try, even if it kills me inside to see him cry.
 |
| Forever in search of "the cure" |
The B-12 might work. It might not. It might lead me to another breakthrough or we might have another breakup. I'm praying for a happy ending but I'm ready for a heartbreak, as well. Because just like real breakups- we fall hard, we mourn, then we rise again and try again. Sometimes things work out but many times they do not. It's a never-ending series of trials and errors. The journey, and life, continues...
 |
| no one is prouder of you than Mama |
No comments:
Post a Comment